Abusive Relationships Don't Always Involve Physical Violence

By Uloop Archives on October 15, 2012

She frequently checks her phone in case he replied to her messages or called her in the past few seconds, she stares longingly at the pictures taken from the Purikura photo booth in Japantown, and when she suspects no one is watching her, she cries herself to sleep. It had been two weeks since she had seen or heard from him. His silence is confusing her, and she can’t help but wonder if she did anything wrong to upset him.

Tears and her pessimistic thoughts flood out of her like a river. She blurts out his flaws and shady personality, claiming she skipped class just to be with him because she knew if she had given up the opportunity to see him, he would be displeased. His misogynistic views on women are disgusting; he puts men on a pedestal when it comes to video games. Whenever they are on their dates, she notices the wolfish gleam in his eyes when he sees other beautiful women. Sometimes, she would receive Skype messages from him in his drunken state, asking her to leave late at night just to see him, but when she refuses, he rages furiously, accusing her of “lack of commitment” to their relationship.

And yet he refuses to speak to her for two weeks despite occasionally playing video games on his Steam account. When she messages him, he signs off to avoid her. I thought she had seen the light when she finally dialed his number and told him “I don’t think this is working,” but then he phones her a few minutes after her call, and they talk for a good thirty minutes.

Suddenly, she’s back with him.

Like me, you probably can’t fathom her feelings towards him or why she refuses to let him go. The saddest part is that she doesn’t understand she’s fallen into an abusive relationship because he’s never physically harmed her. An abusive relationship is when your partner causes you to be more self-conscious of your flaws and emotionally drains you. The article on Huffington Post’s Healthy Living, “Glamour Relationship Abuse Survey” claims that nearly 60 percent of young women have experienced abuse, but 24 percent of women in abusive relationships haven’t reported their dilemma, and 37 percent of women who have known someone in one have never told anyone or the authorities.

I share this story because these are signs of an emotional abusive relationship. If you are in one or know someone that is, feel free to call the hotline 1.800.799.SAFE, because telling someone can make a difference. 42 percent of women in abusive relationships that have told someone managed to successfully leave. Remember that no one deserves to be ill-treated, and that you are all beautiful inside and out.

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